Tonight marks the 34th anniversary of the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in Sydney. So, I figure what better time to launch back into my blog and write a brief an open missive about my thoughts on marriage equality in Australia.
Now let's get something straight, I wouldn't define myself as completely straight. Settle down children, this isn't a secret. Anyone who knows me, knows this. So, if I ever become a really famous writer please don't pull a quote out of this dribble I am writing now and try and use it against me. I will probably just confirm it, give you a better quote and continue with my book tour of Europe.
In saying the above, I wouldn't consider myself gay, lesbian, bisexual or to fall within any of the previous categories because the title is irrelevant to the conversation we are about to launch into and more importantly, to the greater issue I am about to discuss. But, what I know about myself and about my heart is I wouldn't discount falling love purely because someone had the same gender as me.
As a journalism student I learn at school the importance of making clear any bias or conflicts of interest that might occur in our writing. So, take note of the previous paragraphs. I have now made you aware of a bias I may have on this issue and maybe it is going effect the way I write this post, so take a deep breath and get used to it.
So, I just told you about me. I told you who I am and what my 'title' is; straight up with a twist. However, this debate isn't about me and it's not about titles either. It's not about orientation, hell, it's not even about gender, it's about love. It's about true and unrequited love and that, in my opinion, should bear no judgement, legal or otherwise, on it's validity.
Everyone who fits broadly under the title of 'straight', let's engage in a little Friday night role playing for a few moments. Chill out, I don't mean make a porno (an issue I will discuss at a later date).
Let's all imagine meeting someone. Someone really fucking amazing. Let's imagine getting to know that amazing someone over a period of time, this might span for years or it might only take months to know they're the one. Let's imagine living with someone, buying shit at IKEA, finally making that massive step to buy an indoor plant you both can't keep alive. Imagine sitting around one afternoon on your overpriced Karlstad couch you bought at IKEA, mourning the death of the indoor fern and realizing "Holy shit, I want to spend my life with this person and I want to tell the world that".
Imagine wanting to make your love public and final, wanting a nice day with a tower of cupcakes (as is the trend at the moment) only to find that Section 5 of the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth) says sorry, you just can't do it. And for no other reason than the fact the love of your life just happens to share the same genitalia as you. Section 5 of the Act defines marriage as "The union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life." And there you have it, you and your partner are struck out because here, in this one provision, we're still on page with our Federal Government members of 1961, or rather John Howard in 2004.
How do you feel straight role-players? How does it feel to be denied the opportunity to marry the person you love. To some of us it wouldn't even matter. I know to me, marriage isn't the end of the world. Hundreds of people spend their lives together unmarried. But, I know at anytime, legally I could roll down to city hall, chuck a K-Fed and Britney and be on my way to a life as MRS whoever. It would be a completely different kettle of fish if I couldn't give it a go because of a minor legislative technicality. I think that is what is so inherently wrong about this issue, others not being given the choice.
Now, I am not going to get all preachy, or talk in legal terminology about this (two things I am quite good at) because we all know that would bore you and I to tears. I am however, going to try to to nut out why I think denying anyone the chance to get married is really really gay (and you know what context I am using this word in) and I am also, like a true law student, going to try to look at this from a religious perspective (briefly because I am running out of time) and see if I can understand it.
I think I'll start with the latter, the Christian religious argument against gay marriage in Australia. I will just state again, I am looking at this on such a surface level because I'm pressed for time, so please don't think I am trying to skim over the complexity of this issue or give any kind of disrespect to religion.
The most common argument I hear from my peers is "well, the bible doesn't say it's right". The bible also says that is it okay to beat your children with rods (Proverbs 23:13-14), but I believe we have assault laws against that.
What essentially I get out of the religious argument against gay marriage is that marriage is a religious rite and not a civil right so therefore, it should be conceived in the same terms it says in the bible. A traditional western definition of this would be between a man and woman. I don't have a problem with this being taught in church or believed by anyone who is of this faith, that is an entirely personal choice which I wouldn't dare condemn, because like being gay, it's not a big deal. The way I see it however, is the issue we are facing in Australia concerning gay marriage is a legal issue, not a religious one and it is not any governments responsibility to legislate according to God's will.
In my opinion, religion should not be about exclusion, if God is who he is said to be in the bible, I doubt he is really going to care too much. I mean honestly, he must be ridiculously busy. From what I know, he loves everyone for who they are and he is even willing to serve redemption to the worst members of society. Gay marriage is not about religion. Even though the act of marriage is derived from a traditional religious ceremony, I think we can all agree many religious sacraments have moved with the times, so let's do that same with marriage.
I'm an atheist. By any bible definition, I commit sins on daily basis, but it's not illegal for me to get married. Just because I drink as apposed to date another woman, doesn't mean my sin of drinking should be any less wrong in the eyes of religion. Last time I checked there wasn't a sin scale in the bible, so why should gay marriage be looked down upon anymore than anything else the bible might advise against. I think Christianity is about going to church or following rituals or just being a good person. It's not about judgement.
Aside from words like idiotic, bullshit etc that come to mind when I think of the reason the Australian Government refused to change the definition in The Marriage Act. There is one word I just can't get out of my head and that is why. More specifically, why not.
It saddens me so so much to know that people in our society are being disenfranchised because they want to show the person they love they are committed to them. It hurts more to know that an amendment to legislation would relatively simple.
Being gay or straight or whatever you want to call yourself is not all that you are and that is what is so disconcerting about this whole issue. There should be no reason why anyone in Australian society today should be made to feel inferior because of a small part of who they are and it needn't be turned into the only part of them that is seen by society.
The issue of gay marriage is so much of a non-issue for many Australians today. With so many people in support of amending legislation, I feel we really need to just get on with it and put all this misery to an end.
I know a lot of my Gen Y (I hate that term) peers are just getting are sick and tired of hearing about this issue and really want some action.
To end, I just want to say I think the greatest thing we can ever learn in this life is to love and accept one another for who they are.
So, can we just start doing that and give all love the validity it deserves.
If you really feel inspired I would urge you to write to your local, state or federal Member of Parliament and let them know how you feel. Don't think that voices don't count, because I can assure you they do.
Yours,
Alexandria Utting.
Now let's get something straight, I wouldn't define myself as completely straight. Settle down children, this isn't a secret. Anyone who knows me, knows this. So, if I ever become a really famous writer please don't pull a quote out of this dribble I am writing now and try and use it against me. I will probably just confirm it, give you a better quote and continue with my book tour of Europe.
In saying the above, I wouldn't consider myself gay, lesbian, bisexual or to fall within any of the previous categories because the title is irrelevant to the conversation we are about to launch into and more importantly, to the greater issue I am about to discuss. But, what I know about myself and about my heart is I wouldn't discount falling love purely because someone had the same gender as me.
As a journalism student I learn at school the importance of making clear any bias or conflicts of interest that might occur in our writing. So, take note of the previous paragraphs. I have now made you aware of a bias I may have on this issue and maybe it is going effect the way I write this post, so take a deep breath and get used to it.
So, I just told you about me. I told you who I am and what my 'title' is; straight up with a twist. However, this debate isn't about me and it's not about titles either. It's not about orientation, hell, it's not even about gender, it's about love. It's about true and unrequited love and that, in my opinion, should bear no judgement, legal or otherwise, on it's validity.
Everyone who fits broadly under the title of 'straight', let's engage in a little Friday night role playing for a few moments. Chill out, I don't mean make a porno (an issue I will discuss at a later date).
Let's all imagine meeting someone. Someone really fucking amazing. Let's imagine getting to know that amazing someone over a period of time, this might span for years or it might only take months to know they're the one. Let's imagine living with someone, buying shit at IKEA, finally making that massive step to buy an indoor plant you both can't keep alive. Imagine sitting around one afternoon on your overpriced Karlstad couch you bought at IKEA, mourning the death of the indoor fern and realizing "Holy shit, I want to spend my life with this person and I want to tell the world that".
Imagine wanting to make your love public and final, wanting a nice day with a tower of cupcakes (as is the trend at the moment) only to find that Section 5 of the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth) says sorry, you just can't do it. And for no other reason than the fact the love of your life just happens to share the same genitalia as you. Section 5 of the Act defines marriage as "The union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life." And there you have it, you and your partner are struck out because here, in this one provision, we're still on page with our Federal Government members of 1961, or rather John Howard in 2004.
How do you feel straight role-players? How does it feel to be denied the opportunity to marry the person you love. To some of us it wouldn't even matter. I know to me, marriage isn't the end of the world. Hundreds of people spend their lives together unmarried. But, I know at anytime, legally I could roll down to city hall, chuck a K-Fed and Britney and be on my way to a life as MRS whoever. It would be a completely different kettle of fish if I couldn't give it a go because of a minor legislative technicality. I think that is what is so inherently wrong about this issue, others not being given the choice.
Now, I am not going to get all preachy, or talk in legal terminology about this (two things I am quite good at) because we all know that would bore you and I to tears. I am however, going to try to to nut out why I think denying anyone the chance to get married is really really gay (and you know what context I am using this word in) and I am also, like a true law student, going to try to look at this from a religious perspective (briefly because I am running out of time) and see if I can understand it.
I think I'll start with the latter, the Christian religious argument against gay marriage in Australia. I will just state again, I am looking at this on such a surface level because I'm pressed for time, so please don't think I am trying to skim over the complexity of this issue or give any kind of disrespect to religion.
The most common argument I hear from my peers is "well, the bible doesn't say it's right". The bible also says that is it okay to beat your children with rods (Proverbs 23:13-14), but I believe we have assault laws against that.
What essentially I get out of the religious argument against gay marriage is that marriage is a religious rite and not a civil right so therefore, it should be conceived in the same terms it says in the bible. A traditional western definition of this would be between a man and woman. I don't have a problem with this being taught in church or believed by anyone who is of this faith, that is an entirely personal choice which I wouldn't dare condemn, because like being gay, it's not a big deal. The way I see it however, is the issue we are facing in Australia concerning gay marriage is a legal issue, not a religious one and it is not any governments responsibility to legislate according to God's will.
In my opinion, religion should not be about exclusion, if God is who he is said to be in the bible, I doubt he is really going to care too much. I mean honestly, he must be ridiculously busy. From what I know, he loves everyone for who they are and he is even willing to serve redemption to the worst members of society. Gay marriage is not about religion. Even though the act of marriage is derived from a traditional religious ceremony, I think we can all agree many religious sacraments have moved with the times, so let's do that same with marriage.
I'm an atheist. By any bible definition, I commit sins on daily basis, but it's not illegal for me to get married. Just because I drink as apposed to date another woman, doesn't mean my sin of drinking should be any less wrong in the eyes of religion. Last time I checked there wasn't a sin scale in the bible, so why should gay marriage be looked down upon anymore than anything else the bible might advise against. I think Christianity is about going to church or following rituals or just being a good person. It's not about judgement.
Aside from words like idiotic, bullshit etc that come to mind when I think of the reason the Australian Government refused to change the definition in The Marriage Act. There is one word I just can't get out of my head and that is why. More specifically, why not.
It saddens me so so much to know that people in our society are being disenfranchised because they want to show the person they love they are committed to them. It hurts more to know that an amendment to legislation would relatively simple.
Being gay or straight or whatever you want to call yourself is not all that you are and that is what is so disconcerting about this whole issue. There should be no reason why anyone in Australian society today should be made to feel inferior because of a small part of who they are and it needn't be turned into the only part of them that is seen by society.
The issue of gay marriage is so much of a non-issue for many Australians today. With so many people in support of amending legislation, I feel we really need to just get on with it and put all this misery to an end.
I know a lot of my Gen Y (I hate that term) peers are just getting are sick and tired of hearing about this issue and really want some action.
Seriously, put aside all the legal stuff about family tax benefits and child care and defacto income if that is what gets you down about this issue and look at it from a human perspective. Love is love and all love should be treated the same. Right now in Australia, it isn't and that is a pretty heavy burden to bare.
To end, I just want to say I think the greatest thing we can ever learn in this life is to love and accept one another for who they are.
So, can we just start doing that and give all love the validity it deserves.
If you really feel inspired I would urge you to write to your local, state or federal Member of Parliament and let them know how you feel. Don't think that voices don't count, because I can assure you they do.
Yours,
Alexandria Utting.
